“I’ve been dating since I was 15.  I’m exhausted.  Where is he?” – Charlotte York, Sex and the City

“I’ve been looking for a job for two years and nothing has panned out.  I’m exhausted.  Why won’t someone hire me?” – One of my favorite clients

Job searching is just like dating.  It takes time, it is exhausting, and the end to this process could be just around the corner or years away.  You never know.   One thing I’ve learned as a career coach and former single lady, you won’t find what you are looking for if you don’t put yourself out there.

The search

There are two ways to find a job and there are two ways to find someone to date.  Online and in person.  It usually helps to do both at the same time to increase your chances of finding “the one”.  Online dating apps are the same as job search apps.  You create a profile, include your favorite picture, and put your best foot (or resume) forward to try to attract your match. Networking events and career fairs are the job searching equivalent to bars and flag football leagues.  They serve as venues to gather where people can interact with hopes of carrying conversations beyond the event.  Once you have found someone to date or work for through one of these avenues, now it is time to learn more about them to decide if this is a good fit.

The research

Once you have successfully identified a match, it is time to prepare for the first date.  In the job search world, we call this “the interview.”  I suppose depending on how the other party approaches the first date it can also seem a little like an interview.  In my experience, if the first date feels like a job interview, there is no need for a second round.  Before a job interview and before a first date it is a good idea to research the company/individual you will be hanging out with.  Thoroughly read the job description, and the company’s website and social media account to learn more about the company and prepare to answer questions during the interview.

As far as dating is concerned, in my opinion, you should conduct a thorough background check on someone before going on a date.  You can use resources like Google, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and your friend who works for the State Police.  My roommate in college was excellent at finding information on “potential suitors”.  All I had to know about a guy was his first name and what class we were in together and she could unearth his entire past.

Bottom line.  You do not want to go into a job interview or a first date blind.  You need to do your research so you at least have an idea of what to expect from both scenarios.

Is this a good match?

Finally, the day has arrived – the first date or the interview.  During both events, it is important to keep in mind that this interaction is a two-way street.  You should be assessing whether the job/employer is a good match for you, while they are obviously doing the same.  Just like a relationship, if there are red flags during the interview that does not fare well for your happiness moving forward.  My grandfather always used to say, “when people show you who they are, believe them.”  His advice can be applied to a job interview and a first date. If the conversation flows easily and you feel comfortable and confident throughout the interview/first date process, this is a sign of a good match.

Happiness and maintenance

After a few rounds of interviews/dates, it is time to decide if an offer needs to be made.  If both parties are excited about a future together, they will progress into a relationship or employment.  From here you will go through the good, the bad, and the ugly together. Like any relationship, you need to make sure your relationship with your job is healthy and it allows for personal growth.  This relationship needs to be maintained and nurtured just like a romantic relationship so that the job can grow with you.

I know that life is hard and it only gets harder as we get older.  One of the many reasons I knew my husband was “the one” was because I felt comfortable going through really difficult situations with him.  In relationships when things are good, they are good.  The “good” is kind of the same with everyone.  But when

shit hits the fan (excuse the expression) there are very few people I can tolerate, and my husband is one of them.  In the same vein, the reason I know I love being a career coach is because my worst day at this job is NO WHERE near as bad as my worst day at some other jobs I’ve had.  Basically, career coaching and I are a match made in heaven, and I hope you meet your match soon.

If you would like help with you job search, I’d love to hear from you!  Click here to schedule a consultation.  If you are more of a DIYer, feel free to check out my Find Your Dream Job Course.  This course will help you improve your LinkedIn, write a compelling resume, negotiate like a pro and more.  If you enjoyed this blog, scroll down to subscribe 😊!